Hello blog.
A week I haven't been online, been busy arranging this "new life" thing.
Was excited, as usual, expecting something from him.
But today surprised me to my bones. Shoot me to death!
Hmm I'm upset, too much upset.I don't know how to express this.
Why does it always have to be me? Why am I always hurt, isn't it enough?
I thought I had impacted him in so many ways, as much as he did to me.
I guess I was wrong all this while. He's a total jerk, bad ass!
How could he replaced me this fast? How possible?
How could he say he loves her when it haven't been up to a month?
How can everything been easy for him all the time?
I thought he would have missed me, I thought he wanted me back.
He came and asking if there were still chances.
so why did he changed his heart in just seconds.
Why did he played me this hard, this cruel?
I know, he's happy without me. Good for u dear!
May you get what you wanted, may she loves you then.
Seeing your pics, it makes me wanna puke.
Not to say I'm perfect or that I'm good enough for you,
but how possible that kind of lady you chose to replace me?
Oh God! I know you can do better than this.
or was it just to make me bleed, again and again?
Well I'm not jealous over her, I'm mad over you.
You haven't done so to me, never left me sweet messages on my fb wall.
Never wanted being so romantic in public,
Never wanted to reveal me to your friends and family,
Never want this, never want that, then what happened?
Why must it be her this time? What's so special about her?
Why you've been unfair to me all the time?
Please, get out of my life sayang.
Get out of my mind, I mean it.
Just get out from my heart. Sigh!
P/S: "I'm Angry" to my so called beloved one.
I’m angry because you pursued me relentlessly
and told me you wanted me to be your girlfriend.
I’m angry because I learned you did that with others
while we were still together.
I’m angry because you lied when you told me
you weren’t attracted to women I later learned you screwed.
I’m angry because I can’t tell you how angry I am.
I’m angry that it makes me hurt when I see, hear or write your name
even when it isn’t you who’s being referred to.
I’m angry that you led me to believe you wanted a life with me.
I’m angry that I can’t just come over your place when I feel like it.
I’m angry that you probably let me if I wanted and that I have to resist.
I’m angry because I can’t talk to you.
I’m angry because I’m lonely, so very lonely.
and you have several lovers vying for your attention.
I’m angry I don’t know exactly when you began disregarding my feelings.
I’m angry that I don’t know what things you said were true & were not.
I’m angry you never tried harder. Why didn't you?
I’m angry I liked you so much in the beginning that I ignored the signs.
I’m angry it took 1 and half years to find someone so easy to be around.
and I’m afraid it may be even longer until I do again.
I’m angry I fell in love with you.
I’m angry because I don’t have a crush on anyone right now.
I’m angry because I haven’t been happy for months.
I’m angry because I can’t just make things right.
I’m angry when strangers in stores or on the street tell me to “smile.”
I’m angry that you are having fun and not suffering like I am.
I’m angry that I’m jealous of whoever’s in your life now.
I’m angry there are so many of those things, which I can't take it.
I’m angry that when I suggested that you take some time to be single,
you emphatically said you didn’t want that, not at all.
because you were happy with our relationship. duh!~
I’m angry that I believed for so long that you loved me.
I’m angry I haven’t moved on. Not haven't but can't.
I’m angry that I don’t really know the real you at all.
I’m angry that I feel like crying right now.
I’m angry because I never have a truly honest conversation with you.
I’m angry because I have to avoid you, even up till now.
I’m angry that it hurts me deeply when I see things you would like
or be interested in or when I hear someone else talk about them
because it definitely will remind me about you.
I’m angry because others knew about your behavior before I did.
I’m angry I'll never know the meaning our relationship had for you.
I’m angry because I will never know how you really felt about me.
I’m angry because I still think of you, every second, every time.
